


You've Been Struck By A [Complete Asshole]

by JQ (musicmillennia)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Glee, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: (presents fic), Barry and Sebastian are Twins, Crack, Gen, I used the pseud joker-quinn because this is a literal joke, M/M, hey guys you wanna see what regret looks like, no archive warning can warn you of how shit this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5066653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/JQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say lightning doesn't strike twice. Sebastian calls bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Been Struck By A [Complete Asshole]

**Author's Note:**

> I probably regret this as much as whoever came up with the name Smythe. 
> 
> I haven't even watched Glee. All I know is that Sebastian has a white girl last name, is an asshole, and can sing/dance.
> 
> But have this garbage anyway
> 
> thank

In the original timeline, The Flash would announce to the world in 2022 that he had a twin brother. He would also announce that said brother had died in a car accident.

Barry and his brother - Sebastian - would have a falling out in high school, one that would lead to mutual silence for the rest of Sebastian's life. The press would scour statewide headlines for car accidents, but since they didn't know what The Flash looked like, let alone his name, they had no way of knowing who Sebastian was. Not even that they were looking for a horrific accident in Los Angeles.

However, when Eobard murdered Nora Allen, he would set off a chain reaction: Sebastian would be there, screaming alongside Barry, as the man in lightning stabbed their mother. They would stand, united, and live together with Joe and Iris West.

Eventually they would separate - Sebastian to a prestigious academy, Barry to public school - but they would never  _separate_.

Thus, Sebastian is hiding in Barry's lab, waiting to surprise him, when the Particle Accelerator explodes.

And they say lightning never strikes twice.

* * *

It's a fun game they play: Sebastian stirs up trouble; Barry stops him; they banter; sometimes Sebastian manages to outrun his little brother, other times Barry catches him. If it's the second, Sebastian finds a way out of his containment, whether it's being a charming bastard (first time), escaping the cop cars (second through tenth time, among others), and lately phasing out of his jail cell.

"How do you  _do_ that?" Barry demands over coffee one morning. Sure, Sebastian's a criminal, but they're still twins; of course they hang out.

"Vibrate at the same frequency as the object I'm trying to get through," Sebastian explains with a shrug. As if it's that easy. "I could teach you -"

Barry's eyes narrow. He knows what's coming. "Don't you dare -"

"But I'd have to charge."

This gets so much worse when Sebastian meets Leonard Snart.

* * *

"Captain Cold, isn't it?"

Barry doesn't smirk, let alone with so much 'cocky little shit'. He's more of the grinning type. He also doesn't wear such tight pants.

So Len raises an eyebrow and replies, "Barry Allen, isn't it?"

"Nah, I'm the better half," says Whoever, sliding across from Len like he belongs there.

"Are you, now?"

"Definitely," is the instant reply. "I have a proposition for you."

The audacity of this asshole has Len torn between being curious enough to let him live, turned on enough to consider taking him home, and irritated enough to freeze him.

He goes with curious for now. "What makes you think I would be interested?"

Sebastian's smirk grows. A flash of all-too familiar light, and his lips are practically kissing Len's ear.

"Name's Sebastian Allen," he whispers.

Cisco later dubs Sebastian the Reverse Flash, which for some reason irritates Dr. Wells.

* * *

Little known fact about Leonard Snart: he likes to dote on those he cares about. Ergo, Lisa gets positively spoiled whenever her brother gets the chance, and Sebastian...

_Sebastian._

There are some things that Barry could go his whole life without seeing. Walking onto a crime scene to find his twin bent over a counter inside a bank vault is one of them - particularly when the one bending him over is one of his enemies.

"Aw, c'mon!" Sebastian groans when he hears Barry scream, "'M almost done!"

The police can definitely handle this one.

* * *

 Everything is so much more fun when nobody but the twins and the Rogues know who Sebastian really is. It's even more fun when Cold becomes Len, becomes boyfriend, becomes Barry's Worst Nightmare.

"Out of all the criminals in Central City," Barry hisses, "you had to pick him?"

Sebastian is not even a little sorry. "For someone so cold, he's smokin' hot."

Barry's twin is an asshole to everyone, but sometimes Barry thinks he's worse on purpose around him.

(That's not true. The only people Sebastian is nice to are: Barry, Henry Allen, and Lisa Snart. Everyone else needs an apology before speaking to him.)

* * *

When Oliver Queen visits Central City, he meets Sebastian at Jitters before Barry.

Sebastian smirks. "Y'know, if I didn't have a boyfriend already, you would definitely be on my list."

Oliver and Felicity blink.

"Barry?" Felicity asks slowly.

"The one and only, White and Nerdy, but I'm talking to the relevant person here. So,  _Oliver -_ "

Barry shoves him before he can lean over the table. "Sorry," he says on reflex, "the subject of 'I have an evil twin' never really came up."

"And the subject of 'I have a hot boyfriend' never really came up either,  _Barry_ ," Sebastian retorts, crossing his arms.

Barry squawks. "What are you talking abo - wait, me and - ?"

Things go downhill when he and Oliver start talking at the same time.

Sebastian easily sings over them,  _"Check the Queen, you're in lo-o-ove!"_

He keeps doing this: degrading Felicity until basically everyone snaps at him, followed closely by using song references and bad puns to allude to Oliver and Barry's fake relationship.

The latest one goes as such:

"Hey Flash."

Of course he's hacked into the coms again. They really need a better firewall.

" _What_ , Reverse Flash? In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to knock out your boyfriend!"

"I just wanted to ask if the Arrow's made you  _quiver_ lately?"

Barry and Oliver's first date is most certainly not his doing, and don't you ever let him convince you otherwise.

* * *

"Who do you think would win in a fight?" asks Sebastian one night, "My boyfriend or yours?"

Barry glowers. "We are not having this conversation."

"You're right." Barry's instantly suspicious. Sure enough, Sebastian's lip curls and he says, "I guess the _real_ question would be, how fast could Len put Ollie on ice?"

This starts a two hour debate. How does Seb  _do_ that?

("He called me  _what_?"

"Yeah."

"You're brother's an asshole."

"Believe me. I know.")

* * *

Now, after the two going on three years Barry and Sebastian have done this running back and forth (" _Shut up,_ Sebastian"), Barry can actually say this idea is the worst.

"We should switch places for a week."

"No way."

"Aw, what's the matter, Barry? Afraid I'll steal Ollie?"

"The opposite, actually."

Sebastian reaches across the table and takes his hands. "Come on," he wheedles, "don't you wanna know what it's like to walk on the wild side? Even just a little?"

And. Fuck it. Barry kinda does.

Sebastian sees the second he's won.  _"I'm gonna make - make you glad you came."_

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

Barry is going to regret this.

(Turns out that he actually doesn't. It's everyone else who has regrets.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for bothering with this. I'm sorry.


End file.
